FRIENDS

So after weeks of starting a blog I finally decided to write something.And what made that happen?
Past few months have not been easy, I am used to being busy and hate to see life pass me by...without me making any contribution to it or taking anything from it. To be able to get through these months all I had were some friends.
Am I always nice to them? nah
Do I make a space in my life for them? nah
Do I give them the time they deserve? nah

Do I love them? oh yess yesss!!

So there is this bossy german who would try all measures to contact me...to get me out there, to talk to me, to involve me...when I try my best to go underground and not face the world. She loves me. I never feel I have done enough to deserve it. And at times I excel at being a complete bitch but there she is, always.

Then there is that kid with chinky eyes...known him for donkey years. Met him twice in last five years and yet and yet, he has all the space in his life and heart for me.

So who are friends, the people with whom you share intense happiness or intense pain or the ones who will pick up your call and know by the tone of your voice what you are upto...even though they havent heard from you in years.

Are they the ones who are intensely jealous when you land up with an impossible catch, a uber hot uber successful boyfriend...but will still offer you a shoulder to cry on without a trace of satisfaction, when the catch turns out to be an asshole.

Sometimes they shop with you for your wedding dress...when all they have ever dreamed of in their life is to wear one...

Yes friendship is jealousy, it is selfishness but it is never malice.

My best friend in college was the hottest girl gracing the corridors, while i chugged next to her fat and ugly, a steam locomotive. Skewers of pain would run down my heart when the guy I secretly drooled for would try to be my friend just to be able to talk to her. I hated her. I loved her. And now 6 years later when I saw her as a frumpy housewife mired in an unhappy marriage, all I felt was this deep deep gut wrenching sadness and I shook her, YOU ARE THE HEADTURNER, all I wanted was for her to reclaim her self worth.

She didnt change as a person, neither did I...nor our friendship. All my crushes and the disappointment seemed like a figment of my imagination. What was real was the need for my friend to get back on her feet and reclaim her life.

So when I camp out in my friends house for months while looking for work and discover she has been sneaking money into my wallet, do I feel gratitude?

No

I feel tenderness. I rejoice in this gossamer yet mighty bond, which we call friendship.

And yes to come back to why I finally chose to inaugurate my blog.

Well yesterday was the start of the week and I felt I had hit a new low. And then out of blue calls a friend. And though it took all my reserves of energy to go out and meet her, this beautiful person made me happy. I laughed without a care and I returned with hope.

And then what are friends for.