TOFFEE

Am I a dog lover?
Eh...I dont hate them...and yeah I can live with them but no I dont gush over them and no I will never get one as a pet.

Never again.

Not since Toffee died.

Ever since I was a little kid I was madly in love with dogs. If I was ever missing from home my mom would ask around if there were any new puppies anywhere, and sometimes she would find me miles away from our home, nestling with some new born puppies.

I even had ticks on my body like any regular street dog and I could actually crawl faster on all fours then I could manage with my two feet.

Oh how I loved dogs, the soft warm new born puppies who will suckle milk of my finger, their eyes still closed, their purring furball goodness nestled against me.

Once I even rescued 8 new born puppies one rainy night from a drain and bought them home. Ofcourse my long suffering yet indulgent family went berserk.

Then came Toffee. My Aunt and Uncle stopped over our house one evening with a little bundle. They were really livid. Somebody had apparently sold them a mixed breed pup saying it was a pure breed Alsatian. They were going to abandon him somewhere.I took a peek. And I was sold. I looked into a pair of huge melting brown eyes attached to mass of brown fur.

I begged and begged and I got Toffee. My first pet. Toffee was my pride my joy my single point focus in life. I was 12.

But Toffee was no ordinary dog. Infact he was the most destructive, obnoxious, thieving little rascal. Oh but he was so lovable, if only to me.

He had chewed his way through the nicest of my mom's saris. And she had the good humour to say,"Well he atleast has good taste, only ruins the best."

He would snuggle in bed between my newly married Uncle and Aunt, all night long, would refuse to leave and would howl if put outside the room.

He would rob socks right out of shoes from my neighbours houses, after a while they were so used to the missing socks that they wouldn't even bother ringing our bell. They used to walk in our house rummage through Toffee's den and find their stuff.

Toffee used to love to hobnob with his street buddies and come home soiled dirty and tick laden, I would try every trick in the book to keep him clean but to no avail.

Mine is a family of dog lovers, though they hate to admit it. My Grandma often used to tell me about the family dog when my Uncles and Aunts were growing up. He was something of a legend. Apparently nobody ate for 3 days after he died and they never got another dog, untill I brought in Toffee.

She also told me dogs never die in front of their owners. Because the dog would never knowingly pain his owner.

I had my exams, Toffee had been in my family for almost two years. Away from my watchful eyes he was cavorting more and more with his street brethern. I found out that there was a diseased rabid dog out on the streets. I would try to lock up Toffee in the night but he would escape.

His absences were becoming longer, busy with my exams I dint curtail his excursions.

On the morning of my Maths exam, my weakest subject, I didnt find Toffee anywhere.I was worried. He had seemed listless the previous evening.He had been missing for a day and he had just weakly trotted back in the house. Unlike the Toffee I knew. I had cuddled him, hugged and fed him. All the while thinking that tomorrow is the last exam and then we will take him to a doctor.And now he was missing again.

I was scared. The sky was heavy it was going to rain. Somehow I struggled through the exam and while cycling back home I knew Toffee wouldnt be there. So I cycled around looking for him. It started to rain. Soaking I kept on peddling calling out his name, I went around and around in familiar and unfamiliar streets, till my Uncles found me and dragged me home.

I cried myself to sleep that day. And I waited whole night, I would run out to the gate and look. All I could think of was how weak and listless he looked when I last saw him.

I was cursing myself, If only I wasnt so busy with my exams I would have watched out for him.

Two days later my Uncle told me, he had found Toffee, dead near a dump, he had collected the body and got it buried. It was the evening before my Maths exam, couple of hours after I last saw him. The family had decided not to tell me because of the exam.

Probably Toffee left for the same reason too, he didnt want to bother me with his suffering.

I wasnt there for him.

I choke up now. Even now.

So I hate maths and I would never have a pet dog again. Because I wouldnt be able to love him.

Because I have loved once, Toffee you rogue.